Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? Maybe it went great, or maybe it was just okay. But have you ever thought about what the pros and cons are of meeting someone IRL instead of online? Here are some benefits of IRL dating vs online dating to think about the next time you’re swiping left or right –
- IRL is a more natural and uninhibited way of meeting someone
- Viewing profiles is no substitute for an IRL experience
- Chemistry doesn’t happen by swiping
- Online searching can be dehumanising and make people less confident
- Messaging back and forth can be time consuming and draining
- Avoid inappropriate messages, photographs and verifying the validity of certain profiles
- Some online experiences can make people more unhappy and insecure.
- A live situation can avoid the judgemental decisions we all make swiping
- You can see people for who they are IRL which isn’t always the case with some profiles
- Communication can be interpreted in the wrong way
- Social situations can be better for confidence and general wellbeing
IRL is a more natural and uninhibited way of meeting someone
Meeting someone in real life can be a much more natural and authentic way of connecting than using dating apps. With IRL, the atmosphere is more relaxed and you don’t have to feel so confined or judged by a profile photo or blurb about yourself. You have the advantage of being able to let your guard down, converse freely from the heart, and engage in flirty eye contact without having to face any awkward scrolling or swiping afterwards. There’s no pressure in IRL because it feels more safe and secure after meeting people through a trusted friend-of-a-friend’s introduction or random encounter versus the pressure created by algorithms or games on dating apps that are designed to feed into desires for instant gratification. The beauty of IRL is that sparks can fly when two strangers come together unexpectedly, creating an intoxicating rush of chemistry and confidence that comes with being truly seen and appreciated by another person.
Viewing profiles is no substitute for an IRL experience
Going out on a limb and meeting someone IRL may be scary or intimidating, but there is no substitute for the real thing. Looking at a profile online can never give you a true sense of who someone really is – the warmth of their smile, the kindness in their eyes, even the intonation in their conversation – all of these things are important to understanding someone’s personality. In addition, an app cannot measure chemistry or if you could have a meaningful connection with that person; only an IRL experience can provide those answers.
Chemistry doesn’t happen by swiping
When it comes to dating, nothing beats the real-life experience of forming connections and getting to know someone. On apps, you can only judge so much from a few photos and snippets of text, and while that has its advantages it’s just no substitute for taking the time to actually get to know someone in person. The spark of chemistry – that initial feeling of mutual admiration or affinity – is a lot easier to come by when you’re interacting with someone face-to-face, as opposed to swiping right or left behind a screen. So if you’re looking for something more meaningful than an algorithmic match, you may be better off over dinner than on an app.
Online searching can be dehumanising and make people less confident
It’s no secret that we live in a digital age where connecting with potential partners is often done through apps and websites. However, this way of searching for relationships can be dehumanising and damaging to our self-confidence. Swiping endlessly on dating apps offers us a false sense of control as the selection is based entirely on physical attributes. This produces an overwhelming experience for people looking for authentic connection, and proves difficult to gauge someone’s character or interests before meeting them IRL. Not only does it reduce conversation between online daters, but it also promotes unrealistic expectations of the other person you could potentially meet. Dating IRL gives us the opportunity to assess compatibility in real-time and form genuine bonds with people — something that’s rarely experienced when we’re stuck swiping randomly through endless profiles in search of love.
Messaging back and forth can be time consuming and draining
Messaging back and forth with someone you’ve met on a dating app can be exhausting. You never really know if the other person is truly interested or not, leaving it up to you to put in the effort and energy to keep the conversation going. With traditional dating, there’s an organic flow that doesn’t feel as much of a chore; when you meet someone in person first it’s easier to tell if they are into you or not. That way, you can save yourself some time and energy by only investing it in people who show genuine interest in getting to know you further.
Avoid inappropriate messages and photographs
Dating apps can make it easier to meet new people, but the lack of a screening process means that you may encounter inappropriate messages or even unsolicited photos. Although there is no guarantee that meeting someone in real life (IRL) will be completely free from such violations, it simplifies the process of setting boundaries and limits with someone before exchanging contact information or deciding to become involved in a relationship. It’s also more likely that unspoken social cues and norms will be honored when communicating face-to-face. Additionally, one can take the time to get to know their potential partner IRL, allowing them to more accurately assess whether they would like to pursue a relationship with this person. Throughout whatever process you choose to follow, remember that your safety and comfort level should always come first – never feel rushed or pressured into exchanging any type of content that you are not comfortable with!
Some online experiences can make people more unhappy and insecure.
With more and more people using dating apps as a way to find a romantic partner, it’s becoming increasingly common to forget the joys of meeting someone in real life. Dating via apps can often lead to feelings of unhappiness and insecurity since everything is so surface level. You don’t get to experience those heartfelt moments like hearing someone laugh or talking intimately in person. Without those aspects of IRL interactions, someone might feel disconnected both mentally and emotionally leading to doubts about themselves or the connection they are making with others. It’s worth taking the time to get out there and truly meet someone in real life where you can find genuine chemistry that can ultimately make you happy.
A live situation can avoid the judgemental decisions we all make swiping
When it comes to dating, swiping can be an intimidating experience. We all make judgemental decisions when swiping and that can be discouraging. When you meet someone in real life (IRL), however, you don’t have to worry about being judged as harshly – all you need is your confidence and some charm. Live situations give us a better opportunity to get to know someone more naturally rather than through a quick scan online. That way, we can form more meaningful connections without the worries of misunderstanding each other or advancing too quickly.
You can see people for who they are IRL which isn’t always the case with some profiles
Meeting people in person not only allows you to gain insight into their personalities but also has the potential to give you a better reading of who they really are, instead of relying solely on what they have chosen to display on online dating profiles. This can be especially helpful given the potential for some misrepresentation online, where people might only appear as a certain version of themselves and not present their true colors. In real life, you get to see someone just as they are without any filters or artificial enhancements. On top of that, there is an element of chemistry that can’t be recreated online – so if you feel strongly about connecting with someone, take it offline and experience the real thing!
Communication can be interpreted in the wrong way
Through communication, either in person or through texts, things can get complicated. With dating apps, a lot of the context of conversation and emotion is taken away. As a result, messages that are sent can easily be misinterpreted. This can be particularly frustrating as people might think they are having one conversation, when the other person is having a different discussion in their head. On the other hand, IRL (in real life) conversations allow for more contextualization and verbal cues which create an atmosphere for clearer understanding. The irony is that technology was supposed to help us stay better connected, but instead it’s probably just adding a layer of confusion.
Social situations can be better for confidence and general wellbeing
Whether it’s a coffee date or happy hour drinks, there’s something special about meeting people in person. Conversations are more meaningful and genuine if you can have the presence and confidence when speaking with someone face-to-face. It’s not just a physical connection, but an emotional one as well, which increases chances of forming healthier relationships. Social situations also benefit your general wellbeing; they give us a break from our day-to-day worries and provide us with an opportunity to make real connections without the distractions of technology and digital messages. Meeting people in real life is often considered more rewarding because we can learn to trust our intuition better, rather than relying on superficial swipes or the information provided by an app profile. In the end, social situations where you can engage and interact with people IRL will help build your confidence and give you a greater sense of self-worth.
All in all, meeting someone IRL is an experience that dating apps can’t replicate. As explored in this blog post, the advantages of IRL connection will not only provide a more natural and honest engagement with someone else, but also potentially lead to lifelong relationships. Moreover, it promotes communication over judgemental decisions and general social confidence. Dating may be different compared to what it used to be in the days before technology took over our lives, with many people using online dating platforms however nothing truly beats the feeling of connecting with someone IRL. Finding someone special is a beautiful journey and IRL relationships can be quite rewarding yet challenging at times thanks to being able to personally connect with one another.